I don't have the slightest fucking clue why I decided to do this.
Maybe it will be therapeutic?
Facebook is too personal and I wanted to do this anonymously.
I am in my mid to late 20s and all my life as far as I can remember I have been addicted to food.
Unless you've been addicted to food you will probably not believe that this is possible but I assure you, it is.
Not only is it possible but to me its more dangerous than being addicted to booze, nicotine, weed and various other drugs.
The reason it is more dangerous?
Food is EVERYWHERE.
not only is it everywhere it is NECESSARY!!!
We need food to survive, and everywhere you look you cannot escape it. It is on tv, radio, magazines, internet, bus stops... every 2nd building on any main street is a cafebar, a takeaway, a deli, a supermarket...
there is no escaping food.
We have a nation of processed junkfood eaters... we are told how its ok to eat these things, advertising encourages to spend our money to eat this junk... then we get fat and the same advertisers turn into our enemies and say "oh my god look how fat you are its gross! but its ok... we have a product that can help"
its bullshit. but its everywhere.
I cannot stop eating.
I even had preventative surgery to enable me to lose weight, which i did, but that was 5 years ago and now? the weight is coming back.
I just sat and ate a 12" Pizza. to myself. and I hate myself for it.
I hated myself for going into the shop.
I hated myself when I was putting it in my basket.
I hated myself when I was paying for it.
I hated myself walking home with it.
I hated myself cooking and preparing it...
every step of the way my brain was screaming at me to NOT do this. not again!
But I couldn't/wouldn't listen.
and so I ate it until I couldnt eat it anymore. I was fit to burst. I felt SICK because I had eaten so much.
20 mins later I finished it off.
I was FORCING myself to eat it.
What the fuck is wrong with me?!!
I used to eat salads and vegetables and everything was much better.
Then I lost my job and I cannot afford things like that, so its cheap shit from the cheap shit aisle of "insert economy supermarket here"
I hate it.
I hate myself.
I am addicted to food. and try as I might I cannot stop eating